Thursday, 21 October 2010

Getting Married in the Football Season

Ahoy there fellow Yellows!

Well, I'm now a married man, and soon the football will return to the more prominent areas of my thoughts as my exile for wedding planning, wedding itself and forthcoming honeymoon come to an end.

I next intend to be up watching those boys in (mostly blue &)Yellow on November 2nd, for Turkey at home. I aim to have a new blog entry up for that game.

For now though, I reproduce for your delectation my article from the Matchday Programme against Port Vale, a few weeks back.


Getting Married in the Football Season
Article first appeared in Matchday Programme v. Port Vale, 2nd October 2010.

Although my attendance this season started well in August, I’ve actually been AWOL for the last two weekends. I am here today, but afraid that I’ll also be absent for the next few weekends after this, too.

Dreadful really, isn’t it? What could possibly have led to such a committed yellow such as I to miss so much of our return to the football league?

Well, I’m getting married next weekend. Yes – in the middle of the football season.

You may laugh at my misfortune. You may even snort in disgust at my disloyalty to commit so heinous a crime. Cleary, I can’t be a real fan, getting married in the football season, eh?

Well, this might be your first impression, but you’d be wrong – and have failed to understand my canny logic for long-term gains.

When I first met my future wife, she had no interest and no understanding of football whatsoever. Now however, she has no interest and no understanding of football whatsoever. But she does know how much it means to me.

She doesn’t claim to be able to relate to my obsession; is appalled that I want to wear an OUFC pin-badge on my wedding suit; and even wanted to wear a red dress to marry me in before I set her straight on what a faux pas that would be. But she knows OUFC is important to me.

So you see, by planning a wedding for a Saturday during the season, I will indeed miss that game, plus a few others with the planning and honeymooning and whatnot. BUT – and this is the clever part – I will prove totally and utterly to my beloved that she comes first before football. So she won’t be so begrudging at handing out the day passes in the future!

Wifey: “Can’t you just miss this one game; it’s my mother’s birthday?”
FMO: “Yes but it really is an important game darling – and I did miss all those games around our wedding, didn’t I?”
Wifey: “Oh, that’s true. OK, fair enough then – just join us in the evening”.
FMO: “OK, but I should also warn you that it may go to extra-time and penalties. So I may be drunk as I’ll be worried about those penalties, so would have had a few for my nerves.”
Wifey: “That’s fine dear, I understand completely. Come on You Yellows!”

Well, that’s how I think it will go anyway…

I still hear you cry though “What about your mates? Are you honestly expecting them to miss a game too just for your poncy wedding?”
 Well, to ease the pain, I’ve done a little something for the day that I hope they will quite like, with the help of my second favourite CW, OUFC’s very own Chris Williams. It’s an Order of Service mocked up to look like a Matchday Programme (Sorry, ‘award-winning’ Matchday Programme). It’s got pen pictures of all the wedding party, ‘team sheets’, Bride, Groom & Best Man columns – the lot. I’ve even got a special message of congratulations from Timmy Mallett in there, which also keeps my ‘Wacaday’-loving Fiancée happy.

It’s sure to be a collectors item, and perhaps the one OUFC programme that Martin Brodetsky doesn’t have.

Truth is though, apart from the fun this little project became, it’s been a total nightmare getting the wedding organised during the season. Most things need doing at the weekend, when I want to be at the football. “We need to go to John Lewis to buy some table stands, can you come?”

“No, we’re at Hereford that day."
“We need to finalise the seating arrangements on Tues night. What time will you be home?”
“Errr… about midnight, as we are away at West Ham that night….”
Yes, I’ve been pretty rubbish with the planning, which is why I kept the last two weekends free to get up to speed.
So instead of enjoying Beano’s equaliser at Gresty Road last weekend, I was sat in a 4-hour traffic jam on the M4, trying to get to the soon-to-be-in-laws’ house to discuss the dowry. I started to panic, as we still then had to get back and print the ruddy order of services out, and write the seating plan out, and this and that and this and that….
“Don’t worry!” piped up my wife-to-be, “We still have next weekend.”
“But… I’m going to the Port Vale game next weekend!” I protested.
“Well, you might have to not go if there is still stuff to do…”
“But it’s a really important game!” came my meek response.

Damn, so I’ve used up that excuse already…

In all seriousness though, I should be here today as planned without much fuss as my Fiancée knows all the games I’ve already missed is sacrifice enough for me.

Plus she has that knowledge that I agreed to our wedding during the football season a full year ago, not knowing what the fixture list would throw up for Oxford on October 9th, 2010. I was willing to make that early call and miss a potentially important clash. As far as she is concerned, Oxford might have been playing Swindon and I’d have sacrificed the big derby for the big day.

Well, as long as she thinks that at least, that’s all that really matters…