Stanley Welcomes Careful Drivers

Saturday, 16th April 2011

nPower League Two
Accrington Stanley 0 OUFC 0

 

So, once again the meeting of matter and anti-matter cancel each other out. Professor Brian Cox, sat in a conservatory behind the stand on Saturday in a radiation suit and sunglasses, was there to witness the expected cataclysm in the space-time continuum as two teams that should never have met on the field of play did battle for a second time this season.

Thankfully for all not interested in witnessing a meltdown in the very fabric of the universe, neither Accrington nor Oxford managed to find the net and thus remain in the permanent state of equilibrium with each other, and the galaxy is at peace. Two games played, two 0-0 draws. There is clearly no possible way either team can break this natural ordering of things, no goal will EVER be scored in these ties and Professor Cox will forever be denied his event horizon moment.

So anyway, this was one I was very much looking forward to all season - the trip to Accrington Stanley. It might just be the nostalgia of that Milk commercial from the 80's (If you are too young to remember this, that makes me want to cry). It might be the hype around the coincidence of our mirrored promotions/relegations to and from the football league in 1962 and 2006. Or it might simply be the intrigue of a team so oddly-named as 'Stanley'.

Eitherway, I was bang up for this one, and not even a twat of a gouty foot was going to stop me making the 470-mile round trip. It did try to though.

Those afflicted with gout will know that you need to drink plenty of fluid to stave off an attack. Well I did this, but the 3 litres of water I'd downed on the way up meant no less than 4 emergency stops on the hard shoulder of the M6 to relieve my over-filled bladder. Thankfully, no Juggernaut plowed into the back of my car during these stops and after 3.5 hours of travelling I was into the Northern Lancashire countryside and descending through the escarpment of the Pennines into the surprisingly pleasant town of Accrington.


Crown Ground Accrington: Nice.

I say surprisingly peasant as I have a dreadful preconception of all Lancashire/Yorkshire towns as being run-down places full of dreary black slate & sooty brick houses, abandoned textile mills and feral children with dirty faces running around with no shoes. This LS Lowry-esque preconception I somehow fail to get out of my head because I spent my entire childhood visiting Grandparents in Huddersfield and driving through the many run-down parts of that Town that there were in the 1980s. Bloody Thatcher, eh? Things have changed Oop North, sadly my addled and bigoted mind has not, I am ashamed to admit.

Mind you, there were some feral children with dirty faces and no shoes running around in the streets of the estate next to the ground.

The funny little stand: Brian Cox in a Conservatory behind.

The Crown Ground itself is a wonderfully rustic place. Reminiscent of Altrincham's ground, except with a more dilapidated corrugated-iron stand with only 3 rows of seats to the right of the away end. Before the home end opposite had even filled up, it was festooned with flags and banners and it seemed a very friendly place to visit. I liked the place.

They even had a goggle-eyed Mutt as a mascot, who cheerily gave the Oxford faithful the thumbs up throughout the verbal assault he sustained whilst making a visit to say hello to us. Good on him.



Goggle-Eyed Mutt: Friendly.

What I didn't like was the naughty red-faced groundsman, who peppered the away terraces with high-powered spray from his sprinkler system, then decided that the away fans taking umbrage with being totally soaked was totally outrageous behaviour and decided to have a row with some of them at the front for being so precious. Naughty man.


U's fans getting a soaking.

After wringing my soaked shirt dry and cursing the red-faced loon some more, I settled into my position behind the goal and looked forward to the game, along with what appeared to be extras from Deliverance stood behind me.

The game itself got better as time went on. You can see why Accrington have such a great home record, as they came at Oxford from the off and had a good few chances to take the game away from us before Oxford had even got into 2nd gear. Their fans, although helped by what seemed to be a full brass band, were in good voice and the atmosphere was a great example of what a small but vocal crowd can create in League Two.

Match Action! Wow!

The second half was much better for Oxford. We created a lot more space for ourselves, seemed to pass it about well and although still short on real guilt-edged chances, I thought we did enough to earn that point, despite a few nervy moments at the end. Special mention for Big Jimmy Sangare, who was a rock at the back, I thought and has taken his chance at slotting into the back four well.

Jedward were loving it.

Jedward: Big fans of OUFC

And so, 0-0 it was (and was surely always destined to be) and the long 4 hour drive back to London for me with the knowledge that any real chance of promotion this season is realistically behind Oxford now.

But things are not looking so bad for next season, I reckon. Let's just hope Accrington go up so we don't risk ending the universe again by playing each other for a third time.