Shrewd Business Practice

Tuesday, 16th August 2011
nPower League Two
OUFC 2 Shrewsbury Town 0

I wasn't intending on coming up for this one. I know all the jibes - 'part-timer', 'fair-weather fan', 'stupid f*cking c*nt'... I've been called them all before, often with justification. But hey, you non-exiles don't know what it's like traipsing up for an evening game when you work near France and live in the centre of London.

Last Wednesday I drove from work, a 5 hour round journey which cost me probably around £50-£60 in petrol. I wasn't doing that again. I can always drive from London after work, a cost of a mere £20-ish, but by the time I get back to London it's 6.30pm and it means I'd struggle to make kick-off to justify sitting in rush-hour traffic leaving London for 90minutes.

But a fellow London Yellow was desperate to go and convinced me to drive us both last night from London at 6.30, even if it meant missing the first 20mins. Well I'm glad he convinced me, as that was a corker last night.

We actually made good time and were parked up at The Blackbird by 7.30, and although that meant no time for a drink or even a Spicy Branos Burger, it meant we were in the ground for kick-off and I was delighted I'd made the effort on such a gorgeous August night for football.

There were an awful lot of police about for some reason. Maybe they were looking for Shrewsbury's Steroid Man whom I mentioned last season. Certainly they were out in force with cameras and what have you, which seemed overkill for a mid-week fixture with no real needle, so I can't think what else they were up to.

Walking down to the ground from the Leys, hearing Perkele's Yellow & Blue song floating across the field and noticing the most spectacular Oxfordshire sunset sky, I had a feeling we were in for a treat tonight - and so we were.

Oxfordshire Sunset: Very nice.

Make no mistake, Shrewsbury are a good side and will be up there at the end of the season. The difference between them and Bradford was striking, in my eyes. It's an old cliché I know but we always seem to do well when a good side comes down to the Kassam and lets us play. And last night, we played.

Special mention I think for the young and oddly named Asa Hall. Odd to me at least, as I've never come across the name before. Perhaps you went to school with dozens of Asas, or had a great-uncle Asa. Well I didn't. I know it's a strange thing to be suddenly bringing up well over a year after we signed him, but it's something that's been bugging me for ages. I've also been pronouncing it in my head as "Assa" for a while too, something I may continue, furtively. Apparently it's an old Hebrew word meaning 'Healer' or 'Physician,' if you are interested. Oh, you're not. OK.

Asa: The Great Healer.

Anyway, back to the game and what more can I say except WOW WHAT A FUCKING GOAL from Heslop. Does it rival Beauchamp's against Blackpool? Well, no. But all the same, what a cracker. And there's an excuse to look at that Beauchamp goal again though.

So, we saw the game out. We passed it around lovely-like, we created and we finished some chances and we kept them out at the other end. To top all this off, Swindon lose at Daggers and we are above them in the League standings for the first time in 11 ruddy years - just in time to play them on their patch.

It's all very exciting, isn't it?

I don't know about you, but I might pop along to that game on Sunday after all. Are there any tickets left?

Welsh Scarebits

Wednesday, 10th August 2011
Carling Cup, 1st Round

OUFC 1 Cardiff City 3 AET

Always the way isn’t it? The amount of football clichés last night almost defies belief.

A plucky underdog battering a higher-placed team for 60 mins but giving away a poor goal early on.

Referee giving said plucky side nothing, despite numerous penalty claims and dodgy tackles.

Referee not going into his pocket to punish the infringing team for their reckless tackles until 20mins into extra time.

Fantastic Mr Ox grabbing a Branos Spicy Chicken burger on Matchday. But what is this? Getting one AFTER the game rather than before it? Good lord!

That apart though, it was the same, well-worn old story of we played well, probably should have won, but lost to a technically better side last night. I say technically better, because they technically were, technically at least, if you look at things from a technical perspective. But you wouldn’t have noticed that for much of the 2nd half last night, in my opinion. With our new YELLOW shirts* we were like a swarm of bees round beekeepers (cos Cardiff were wearing white, see?).

Beekeepers: Calm.

That’s actually quite a good analogy as despite buzzing round the bastards for ages we never ended up stinging them in the end and Cardiff saw out the last 20mins with a kind of calm and ease that only a beekeeper in his protective gear would retain when bombarded in such a manner.
Well, OK it’s a silly analogy, but I still like it.

As usual, it was quite an effort for me to get up to a night game, working as I do in deepest darkest Kent, before having to return to a currently riotous London after the game. That I made this round trip of 250 miles probably makes me a better person and a bigger fan than you. Probably.

I set off early from work and on the way enjoyed the last few hours of Test Match Special from Edgbaston in the late afternoon sun, listening to lovely Mr Strauss pick up his 50 and help England on their way to becoming the number 1 test side in the world. Ahh Cricket!

But of course, the cricket season was symbolically drawing to a close for me with the close of play last night. From here on in until May, it’s football season, and I was very excited about my first Oxford game of the new campaign.

Arrived in good time at The Blackbird for a quick pre-match pint and discussion of the riots in London this week. A friend of mine thinks he has the solution – a crack Serbian-style Containment & Discipline Battalion to be deployed onto the streets with free rein to kick the living shit out of anyone causing trouble. Whilst I had my doubts that jackbooted martial law was actually the answer, he was quite adamant that it was, and proceeded to expand on the potential for his Battalion’s deployment for much of the rest of the evening.

First half then – not so convincing from Oxford, we didn’t seem to be gelling at times and looked a little out of sorts. Cardiff’s goal though was pretty shocking – I still don’t know how the buggery it went in.
At half-time, a complaint I had about the stink of all the buggers smoking in the toilets and the meekness of the stewards in dealing with it was another opportunity for my friend to expand on the potential of his C&D Battalion.

Battalion members should be issued with metal bars and if the smoker denies they are holding a cigarette behind their back and it is discovered to be a lie – a quick rap from the bar and a broken arm should prevent them from doing it again. All of a sudden I was coming around to the idea.

Second half, and my rose-tinted blinkers convince me that we should have won it in the 90 minutes. We played well and I tell you what, that Leven does look like a touch of magic. Let’s hope he proved to be as anticipated. I also really hope Constable doesn't go to Luton as it seems he might. His work-rate can never, ever be faulted and last night I thought he put himself about and harried the Cardiff back line with aplomb. He would most certainly be missed, for all his faults, in my opinion.


Constable: Respected.

 I really didn’t want extra time, given the drive back to London to still come. And given that we ended up losing anyway and have a far more important League fixture in 3 day’s time – I’m sure Wilder and the players didn’t really want it either. In the end, despite their ET goals being more defensive errors than anything else, they saw the match out and that was that. Disappointing, but loads of positives too and I’m still excited about this season. Just like I am every season.

London Riots: Actually quite merry.

And so back to London. Thankfully the journey home took my car only through Marylebone and Bloomsbury, quite salubrious districts that were hardly likely to see any bricks coming through my windscreen. No police about round there though, so if you do fancy grabbing some free organic muesli or putting together the ingredients for a quinoa salad, I suggest you rioters abandon looting the obvious chavvy branches of Footlocker you live in and smash up the West End instead. Although leave it until I’ve moved back to Oxford, if you could.

I’m totally shattered today after an early start and late return, but despite the defeat it was worth it, as ever. A good game and a good performance and great to see all the old faces again, and hear all their giddy stories.

I’m already looking forward to the Bradford game at the weekend, and I’m back in the programme then too. So pick up a copy and read that, if you want to help the club and my ego at the same time.

Up The U’s!

*Yes, I am quite pleased about that.